Facebook Posting

Following is a statement attached to a Facebook posting by Karen Drgon on December 6, 2020. Karen’s posting credits the statement authorship to “the caregiver of Heidi Landau and her mom Bonne.” Related Facebook postings implicate Brandy Tellez as “the caregiver” and statement author.

Heidi was terrified of covid 19. So terrified of it that she packed up her house and her mother Bobbe; and they moved across the country from the covid ridden beaches of Florida to the mountains of NW Montana. In the spring Montana was a refuge from the virus, cases were few and far between. Heidi knew that with her mother’s cancer history she would likely not survive covid.

I met Heidi and her mom in May [2020] when Bobbe’s cancer relapsed. Heidi was in my office because even with the medical insurance they were unable to afford the chemotherapy medicine- $11,000 a month after insurance. I was able to do some work and get them set up to receive the medication for free. Heidi was so grateful and Bobbe too. I helped them get on their feet here and start living again. We became good friends seeing each other outside of work and texting or talking on the phone daily.

Heidi did everything to protect her mother. She would order groceries online for pickup, she limited their commitments and time outside the home and they diligently wore their masks. She kept her safe for almost 9 months-she did everything right.

Until a chance encounter with a neighbor outside her house. She wasn’t expecting to see anyone just in her yard so she did not have her mask. The neighbor didn’t have one either. So they chatted while remaining 6 feet apart and the neighbor casually mentioned she hadn’t been feeling well lately. Heidi’s worst nightmare. She went in her house and wore a mask and tried to distance herself from Bobbe which was very difficult as they shared the home. Immediately Heidi started beating herself up that she could have been exposed and could have brought it to her mother. I tried to calm her down by saying she didn’t know the woman had covid and she wasn’t having symptoms. Until she did.

She asked me to come help her with her mother as she was quarantining in her room and her mom was all alone to fend for herself as far as meals and zero company. I had previously had covid in early October so I had immunity according to the reports so I agreed to come and spend a few hours a night with Bobbe. Make sure she ate and had someone to talk to. I had no idea what I signed on to.

Heidi had all the symptoms and was stuck in bed when she wasn’t at the hospital trying to get help for her pain. Bobbe had an appointment with her home health nurse for a regular blood draw to see how she was doing on the chemo. Bobbe wasn’t symptomatic but she wanted to know. Heidi asked the nurse to run a covid test just in case. Heidi asked me to stay the night. Just in case Bobbe needed help because she was so sick. I didn’t leave for a week and they would both pass away days apart in that home.

Bobbe woke up Friday [13 Nov 2020] not feeling great. She said her head was woozy and she was very weak. I hoped getting some food in her would help perk her up. We sat on the couch and watched the birds and the squirrels outside the window while she drank some ginger ale and had some applesauce. We chatted about the tennis game on tv. It was a good visit and she wanted to go lay down again. Not unusual so I helped her to the bathroom and back to bed. After she went to bed the doctor called and confirmed Bobbe had covid. An hour later she called for me saying she was having trouble breathing. I called an ambulance and held her as she passed as the ambulance arrived. The incredible paramedics got her back and rushed her to the hospital.

Heidi held herself together and sent me along after her. She was too ill. I asked what she wanted me to do if a choice needed to be made. She said “I know you love mom. Tell them to stop. Make the call.” And so I did. Standing in a cold private room with two nurses in protective layers I stroked her hair and held her hand as her heart stopped again.

I went out to the lobby where I was asked to leave as I had been around someone with covid. So I went out into the freezing night air and I cried. I didn’t have a jacket but I didn’t feel the cold. I cried. And then I went back to the house because I knew Heidi would not make it alone. The weekend was hell. Heidi was in so much pain. She was unable to get comfortable. Up and down, she took 10+ hot baths a day to try and help with the body aches. Continual pounding migraine. She moaned all day and night for three days straight. Neither of us slept. Nothing helped her pain.

I called an ambulance 3 times for Heidi. Twice she was cognizant enough to refuse care. Despite her oxygen levels being low they could not do anything without permission. On Monday her condition had worsened to the point she could respond more than one word at a time. Her oxygen levels was below 50%. By the time paramedics arrived she could not speak so they could take her to the hospital because she couldn’t speak to refuse. At the hospital she was on 15L of oxygen. A mask and a cannula. The most you can be on without being intubated. She was given steroids, and antivirals, she received bags of fluids. She declared she did not want to stay and she wanted to go home to die. I spoke with the attending doctor. I asked if she stayed could they help her and he said “even if she stays here on all the meds, cooperates with the oxygen treatments-there is a good chance she will not make it out of the hospital alive. Will you do this for her?”

There was no choice for me. I loved my friend and I respected her right to choose her way to go. So I arranged everything and the next day I brought my friend home to die. She came home in an ambulance with oxygen tanks waiting to push high flow oxygen to her. I fed her her favorite ice cream and heavy cream just as she liked it. And gave her sips of her favorite juice. She made plans and I listened until the meds kicked in and she fell asleep. She slept for the first time in days. And I waited. Giving her meds every three hours like the nurse who visited for an hour the night she came home directed me to. I heard every rasping breath. Every beep of the machine-every two minutes. Until my beautiful friend passed. 10 days after she got sick. Just over two weeks after she had a chance encounter with someone who wasn’t wearing a mask.

I am not a caregiver. I was a friend who was asked to help a friend and I am so grateful I was able to do it. I did not have any idea what I would wind up seeing, witnessing and doing when I agreed to help the Landau family. Covid has irreversibly changed my life forever. It took two of my friends from me but for some reason spared me. I don’t know why. I don’t know why I was lucky but I remember it every day.